Perhaps it finally feels that everything is falling into place. I have finally rebounded from my insecurity in prospering outside of music based classes. After working harder than ever in my entire college career I managed to finally have a quarter without any major upsets or disappointments. Although I was initially frightened by the outcome of Journalism 133, my final strive for improvement and a will to perform the most embarrassing form of extra credit ever paid off as I received a B in the class. As for the rest of my classes I performed as expected and definitely raised my GPA.

Another aspect of this year that really seemed to be beneficial is living arrangements. After three years of highs and lows of dorm room and apartment life. I have finally settled in a stress-free, rather pleasant living scenario as all 4 roommates are getting along and conflict rarely arises. This lack of stress regarding such a petty thing as simple housing definitely made the quarter run a lot smoother than previous years (I’m sure Molly and her roommates also enjoy this as I no longer “live” at their apartment all the time).

After reviewing my DARS I have discovered that the end of the road in college isn’t as far away as I have often made it seem. I have about 4 more quarters left of classes, which isn’t too bad as I changed majors after two years in school. I essentially am completing a 4 year program in about 3 years due to this. So perhaps I don’t give myself enough credit as I am making faster progress than I sometimes perceive myself achieving.

As I finally sit at home on break I can’t help but wonder how my brother made it through 3 years of being at home with just my parents. Sure my parents are great and I hold nothing against them, but I find it rather dull as there isn’t much of a social life outside of chatting to people from school on the internet or the occasional text here and there. It really has made break kind of quiet and boring. However, I love my daily chats with Molly and that always makes life better.

I find I have two scenarios that unfold at home depending on the day.

1.) I get up, shower, go to work (which can range from anywhere 7am-9pm), eat dinner, usually waste whatever time I have in the evenings on the computer, and finally go to bed.

OR

2.) Wake up, shower, sit around the house, run some rather minute dull errands, eat dinner, usually waste whatever time I have in the evenings on the computer, and finally go to bed.

As you, the reader, can see there isn’t much variety other than the whole working thing.

I guess it’ll less dull around the house when Dan finally gets back from Notre Dame. Perhaps it’ll make break a little more fun at home. My overall conclusion from all of this is college is really one’s social life after being in it for 4 years and home never quite fills that void as your “high school” friend drifts apart and we all go in our different directions. But then again, this may be the very act of growing up creeping up on me as things will not be the same and life continues on a constantly winding road that is uncertain where it leads (eek!! deep stuff).

So I’ll make it through this break, it isn’t over yet and it’ll only improve as it progresses. I’m also excited to see where next quarter leads as it takes me one step closer to finishing school.

-MK

I just realized this will be my last summer working a part-time job. I’ve spent 5 summers at Heinen’s and am glad that that chapter of my life drawing to a close. It was a great experience as it taught to value how much work is put into a grocery store, however it does grow tedious and annoying. I return for my final time in the produce department from November to January, thanks to the infamous OU winter break. It’ll be weird to part with a company that’s been a primary source of income in the off-season of college but I look forward to getting a job relevant to my major, once I complete it.

After punching some numbers and mapping out a plan for the remainder of college, I have discovered I will graduate winter quarter of my 5th year. This is some relief as I can see an end in sight. After completing a forth year at OU I will remain for summer classes and my final two regular quarters. Then the real world….weird.

Ha not too shabby, I managed to update this thing twice in one week.

So….what’s happened within a year? A lot but that’s expected.

I am a day away from turning 21. It’s a nice feeling knowing that the wait is finally over (well within 24 hours, give or take) but I honestly have tackled this idea for quite some time since I’ve witnessed so many people turn 21 and I don’t really care about being able to purchase alcohol. I live for so much more than dowsing myself with large amounts of alcohol. I’m so sick of this dwelling on the substance. Sure I enjoy a beer or two now and then but I am so sick of people telling me “DUDE get f**ked up on your bday! It’s so epic. etc…” This whole culture of focusing on drinking really ticks me off. But as stated I’ll admit I do it too but not in such high doses (maybe 2 or 3 times a quarter). I’ve seen people turn from straight edge stiffs to heavy alcoholics over college and it’s a sad thing to witness. To have your life be so controlled by a bottle of liquid is a problem. So as I spend my last day of 20, I’m not really thinking about being set free into a world of booze, I’m thinking more about the last 20 years of my life and how they’ve made me the person who I am today. I don’t plan of going out at the stroke of midnight to fill myself with booze. Instead I’ll be going to a concert at the House of Blues with my brother and hopefully just enjoy the final days of summer with him, since college is quickly approaching and home will never be the same. (FYI: the concert is The Airborne Toxic Event if you’re wondering, check them out!)

Which leads to an interesting transition. As stated my brother is leaving for college soon. As a matter of fact, exactly on the 21st of August. Which brings the end to an era at this house (where I’m typing) and my life in general. It never really hit until I finally thought about it last week. With Dan heading off to college, it made me realize that our childhood is pretty much wrapped up. Dan will no longer be stranded at home when I leave for OU, nor will he be around all winter break when I return for a month and a half. This is also my last summer at home. Next year I plan on taking summer classes at OU to catch up on my major and hopefully graduate in less than 5 years. Dan and I are finally going separate ways and it’ll be weird. But I hope for nothing but the best as he heads of to Norte Dame (yeah pretty awesome) and hope we’ll still keep in touch and not drift. I’ve seen so many siblings lose touch and not really talk to each other, it’s a sad thing. Dan as always been a great brother, although I sometimes don’t like to admit it, and he’s always been someone I could count on for anything. Things will change but I know we’ll still give each other crap and keep in touch.

As stated earlier, I’ll be in college for part of a 5th year. This was always planned since I was originally a music education major but things changed and a series of events led me to middle childhood education. This greatly shook up my plan for college and I still feel greatly insecure with success in any field. I eagerly look forward to my senior…well 4th year of college as I hope to make it “one hell of a year” since this is the last year for many of my college friends. It’s weird to think the people you grew with from your awkward freshman year are making their final plans and looking at a future outside of college. It leaves me greatly saddened and frightened of what is going to come as I remain at OU for an extra year. Sure the younger friends and some people in my situation will still be there but it will never be the same. I pray this fear doesn’t overshadow my 4th year but I feel as the year progresses it will grow and the feeling will be hard to express.  I have this horrible habit of not wanting to discuss things that bother me and it usually results in me being bitter and detatched. I just don’t know how to react to the thought of losing people so prominent in my life and staying behind. If anything this idea of the end being in sight has done nothing but motivate me to find a way to graduate as quickly as possible.

In addition to the loss of friends at the end of this academic year. I still am looking for some sense of security and confidence to prosper in school. Ever since I had a sudden end to music education my life has been uncertain and shaky (well certain things). I keep looking for a quarter where I truly feel comfortable and felt I’ve proven to myself and family that I’m not a screw up in school. Sure I hit a bump in the road but I want nothing more than to try to get on track and feel confident in myself. I’m just not a confident individual and have never believed in myself. Thanks goodness I have one person who have always been there. Who you may ask? Why the answer is: Molly. My amazing girlfriend now for almost a year and half has been the most helpful person ever in this situation. I love everything about her and am so grateful for her support after I switched majors. I really don’t know where I’d be without her. She is amazing.

Perhaps this whole blog thing isn’t too bad. I’ve never really written something this extensive and it was nice to just unload my mind upon a vast empty space of the internet.

Til next time. -MK

1.) Go to class

2.) Shower

3.) Eat

4.) Sleep

5.) Write this thing

Anyway life in the apartment is pretty awesome. Very chill and no trace of hostility (as oposed to last year).

In other news the Cleveland Browns are off to a terrific start this season. In true Browns fashion we lost to the Dallas Cowboys. Looks like we’ll just have to settle for a record of 15-1 now.

Music News!

Now it’s time to list new cds that are coming out this month by artists I care for:

Ben Folds: Way to Normal (Sept. 30) – the long awaited follow up to Songs for Silverman by the off beat piano powered artist. Guest appearance by Regina Spektor.

T.I.: Paper Trail (Sept. 30) – the follow up to last year’s T.I. vs. T.I.P. where T.I. kills his alter ego bull shit and does what he does best: spit hard lyrics about his hatred of Shawty Lo. Includes the killer single “No Matter What”

Other than these two releases the month of September is rather slow for the music industry.

Well I wrote something so you can’t say shit now. BLAH BLAH BLAH visit our fucking site: mascotproductions.net or just simply playboy.com

So people may ask “MK why a blog?”

My response “Yes!”

But anyways I plan on using to express my feelings (*tear*). Ok not really, probably more to fill you on some music that I think is pretty cool and discussing sports, news, tv, etc.

So let the fun begin